By Julia Noyel
Are you’re tired of your emotional outbursts! your sudden mood changes! conflicts with others! Feeling guilty and aggressive! hearing that you are too aggressive or sensitive!
You are really angry, feel often fed up and misunderstood? People do not listen to you? Do not understand you? Are making jokes about what you say or feel, even telling you that you are ill or crazy? And you become really angry about this? And when you become angry the person is blaming and humiliating you instead of welcoming your strong emotions? Oh, my dear, I understand so much how you might feel in this kind of situation.
You have doubts about yourself constantly facing an inner struggle about being more assertive, getting to be accepted as you are, and wondering if this other person is right? Why others are so good at keeping calm and control over their emotions? Besides, you only meet people perfectly mastering their emotions while you jump as stung by a tarantula? You feel frustrated.
Highly sensitive, creative & empath – How to manage your anger
Maybe you have tried a lot of different strategies in order to handle and better control your anger and they all did not work and this made you feel even worse and inappropriate. I know, I also went through this for many years. I searched for a lot of help, tried everything. I think I went through all advice, grateful for any single piste I got; at the same time what I found made me often laugh. When reading that I should count until 10 when I am angry and breathe deeply, I thought: this person has never experienced real anger in the way I did! Because in case of an anger outburst, the reptilian brain takes over, and you might become like a lion just wanting to counter-attack! Because if you are angry, this is what you want to do! And here most of the people giving advice and asking people who are angry to calm down have never understood the functioning of emotions.
So, first of all, let me explain to you some important things. When you are angry there is a reason for it. You might feel disrespected, humiliated, or in danger, not allowed to express yourself.
So when you are angry this emotion comes up to protect you. And if you feel this way, it is because in past you might have suffered from traumatic events that conditioned your strong reaction. So when you feel in danger, you will react to protect yourself. Like an animal. Highly sensitive and empaths are often kinesthetic so much more in their body feeling even energy and sensations coming from the outside. They sense things. People who are more acting with their body and heart often have stronger reactions than a very rational person focused on rational things. Like animals. Very rational thinking people often learned to repress their body sensations. They cannot sense things as we can do, but there is an advantage. They might be able to better handle their body reactions.
But now let’s come back to you.
Your problem: the rage goes up so fast, surprises you, and becomes uncontrollable! You find yourself screaming becoming aggressive easily. Maybe you are even afraid of getting violent and hurt someone.
You look more like a bulldog than a highly sensitive person and you hate this! If you have tried to convince the other person to listen to you, you might have noticed it does not work.
Here is my secret for highly sensitive, creative & empath to manage your anger
So you are wondering what is the secret. Being highly sensitive myself and having trained and met many highly sensitive and creative people in the last years, I have seen many people who feel like you. And most of them had a misconception about how to control anger and better manage their emotions, as I had.
And since they did not know what caused them to have such intense temper tantrums, they all did things that made their situation worse. Me too, I have tried different techniques for years, without any success. The problem is not where you suspect it. I have studied all that exists in emotional management before I finally understood the solution to the problem. Because all the techniques that are mentioned out there are like medicine, they try to calm you, to treat the symptom, and not to get rid of the root, the cause of the problem. Today, most advice you find on the internet or in the literature is about how to identify your emotions, how to better manage them, and how to recognize emotions in others. These tips work occasionally depending on the context. I believe they are not enough. You will continue to suffer extreme anger. Once submerged by the emotion, you will always have trouble managing the situation. Emotional intelligence strategies are good for identifying emotions, but impractical for highly sensitive and empaths who want to control or manage their emotions better. You will just continue to be confronted with your strong rages and face unmanageable situations.
What really stops you from controlling your emotions
Here’s my point of view about emotional intelligence for highly sensitive people and empaths: You need to clean your inner Substance. That will change your life in a sustainable way and make you adopt healthier behaviors. You can stay highly sensitive, be emotional, and it will not matter. Once you have cleansed your inner SUBSTANCE this will bring you to the root of the problem and will help you feel better, stay highly sensitive, happy, and healthy. For cleansing your inner SUBSTANCE and free you from your stuck anger and frustration, please feel free to check out my SUBSTANCE Cleansingfor Method.
Julia Noyel is inner SUBSTANCE Coach, certified Coach & Psychological Counselor and author of several self-help books including black sheep live better: how to change and realize your dream life and The SUBSTANCE-FORMULA: Master the art of raising happy, healthy & successful children, The SUBSTANCE-FORMULA: Master the art of a happy, healthy & successful life. She has over 15 years of experience in the field of personal development, self & people management & leadership, consultant and trainer working for individuals and companies from various industries such as IT, retail, luxury, service with more than 10 years experience in training, coaching people. She is a lecturer in various business schools. Expert in self-confidence & education, HSP, Highly sensitivity, empaths, Infps, creatives, communication, emotional management, people management & leadership, and authenticity, her approach is body-mind-spirit focussed. Trained in various techniques of nonviolent communication (NVC, PET, EI etc.), NLP, management, creativity tools and energy healing (EFT, Jin shin Jyutsu, Reiki, magnetism), she has developed her own approaches: SUBSTANCE-Formula & SUBSTANCE CLEANSINGfor. two powerful programs that transformed her life and those of her clients after having studied, researched and experimented with the most effective, inspiring, and latest techniques in the field of mind & cell reprogramming, subconscious mind functioning, cell memories, energy healing, and divine & intuitive healing. Her goal is to enable everyone to be self-confident, happy, healthy & successful in life permanently.