Happy relationship – Why you might think twice about the kind of investment strategy you use in your love life if you want to create intimacy

 By Julia Noyel

Portfolio theory and diversification are popular economic and marketing strategies in order to minimize your risk in business and in the financial world. Their aim : maximize your return and minimize your risk by selecting and dispersing your investments wisely. The concepts might work well in business, but do they also work in love ?

Having a portfolio of different possible future mates while you are dating and not committed yet, is an efficient strategy to maximize your chance to find out rapidly who is the right partner for you. However, once you decided to build a future with your partner and you are interested in seriously driving forward the relationship,  the portfolio strategy might be a dangerous strategy to your love life. You might find my comparison funny, however this is what a lot of people actually do in their love life and wondering why it never works.

For a lot of us having passed the 30s and after our first relationship break ups we are so scared about suffering again. We want to protect our hearts. To do so a lot of us use the portfolio and diversification strategy. What do I mean ?

  • We never commit entirely to only one partner. We prefer communicating with everyone except our partner.
  • We share our deepest emotions (hopes, hurt feelings, needs) with our Exes.
  • We spend our spare time, passion, creativity with friends and our children.
  • We think about or actually have sex with other people and not (or not very often) with our partner.
  • We never focus entirely on our relationship and we disperse!

We hope that this way we keep control, we protect ourselves, we keep our independence; And indeed, it is a simple and comfortable strategy to avoid any self-reflection and self-development and to keep away real intimacy. That way, we do not need to confront ourselves neither to our dark sides nor to our deepest fears. Nevertheless, if you would like to have a deep loving and intimate relationship, a healthier way is to focus entirely on your partner and your relationship. Love is neither a strategy nor a business. It is a conscious decision to build a solid, intimate, heart-connected relationship with your partner. This means to constantly do all the necessary to strengthen the deep connection between you and your partner, to work through the dirty stuff and occurring problems with your partner, to feel and express your feelings and show yourself vulnerable.

Do you want to learn more about how to

  • create a relationship in the long run!
  • resolve conflicts!
  • create a deep connection with your partner!
  • remove blocks and boredom!
  • communicate to be heard and understood by your partner!
  • be authentic without playing power games!
  • avoid relationship drama while communicating your feelings!

Get more information here…

© Photo credit: fotolia © Julia Noyel 2016 All rights reserved.

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