By Julia Noyel
We all have days where we feel overly emotional, moody, or angry. However, the problem comes when these emotions are projected outward onto the ones we love in the form of angry outbursts, mood swings, or aggressive conflicts. These reactions often leave you feeling guilty after you have calmed down, but it is often hard to control your emotions in the heat of the moment. We tend to have a visceral inner reaction when someone says we are too sensitive or overly aggressive, and it often has the opposite intended effect. It often makes us more angry and emotional, which creates a more contentious situation. You may feel that no one truly understands you, no one listens to your thoughts or concerns, or that people think you’re crazy or ill. It is easy to see why you would feel this way when you feel the other person is intolerant of your strong emotional behavior. I understand your situation all too well, as I have experienced feelings just like this.
You may find yourself facing a constant inner struggle, which has you trying to balance your assertive personality in a way that commands respect, while remaining calm and keeping your emotions under control. Why do others seem to be able to do this easily? You may feel frustrated seeing others who seem to have complete mastery of their emotions, while you feel as if you jump as if stung by a tarantula at the slightest sign of conflict!
Highly sensitive, creative & empath – How to manage your anger
Like me, you may have tried many different strategies over the years in order to handle your emotions and anger in a more constructive way. Then, when they didn’t work, you probably felt worse. You may have wondered, “What is wrong with me?”
I have experienced these same feelings of inadequacy over my years of searching for answers. I researched every solution I could think of, but often, the recommended solutions were laughable. Counting to 10 and breathing deeply? How was that going to help me calm down? This person surely hadn’t ever experienced real anger like I had! When I have experienced an attack of rage in the past, it is like the reptilian brain takes over, and I have felt like a lion just wanting to counter-attack! Because if you are angry, this is what you want to do! In my opinion, the majority of people offering advice have never truly understood how emotions of anger can control you.
So, first of all, let me explain to you some important things. When you are angry, there is a reason for it. You might feel disrespected, humiliated, or in danger, or you may feel frustrated that you are not allowed to express yourself. It is natural for your anger response to surface as a means of self-protection. Many times, when you feel this way, it is triggered by traumatic events or situations from your past that have conditioned a strong visceral reaction. Similar to the way an animal instinctively behaves, highly sensitive people and empaths are often kinesthetic so much more in their body, feeling powerful energy and sensations coming from the outside. They sense things other people may not. People who are acting with their body and heart over their brain often have stronger reactions than a very rational person focused on rational behavior. People that have prioritized rational thinking throughout their lives have often learned, or been trained, to repress their body sensations. They cannot sense things as we can, but there is an advantage. They might be able to better handle their body reactions. But now let’s come back to you.
Your problem: Your level of rage goes up so fast, surprises you, and becomes uncontrollable! You find yourself screaming and becoming easily aggressive. Maybe you are even afraid of getting violent and hurting someone. At times, it may feel that your reactions are completely out of your control. You look more like a bulldog ready to fight than a highly sensitive person, and you hate this! When rage controls your behavior, you will find it hard to get the other person to take you seriously, which can also lead the situation to spiral into deeper aggression. But take it from me, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Here is my secret for highly sensitive, creative & empath to manage your anger
By now, you may be wondering, “What’s the secret? What can I do to get my emotional reactions under control?”
Being highly sensitive myself, and having trained and met many highly sensitive and creative people over the years, I have seen many people who feel just like you. And most of them had a misconception about how to control anger and better manage their emotions, as I had.
And since they did not know what caused them to have such intense temper tantrums, they all did things that made their situation worse. I have tried many different techniques for years, without success, and believe me when I tell you the problem is not where you suspect it. I deeply studied and researched the subject of emotional management for years before I finally understood. The answer lies in understanding our emotions, where they come from, and working on ourselves to attract the behavior from others that we seek. We can choose to tolerate the behavior of others, even if it is unfavorable, by cleansing ourselves and utilizing our inner emotional power.
All of the techniques that I came across are like medicine, they simply try to treat the symptoms, when it is actually necessary to dig down to the root cause of the problem. Although some of these tips may work on occasion, it is not enough to identify and manage your emotions. You will continue to suffer from instances of extreme anger when you become submerged by emotion. That is why these solutions are not effective for highly sensitive people and empaths who need to control their emotions, before they find themselves in an unmanageable situation when rage has taken over.
What really stops you from controlling your emotions
Here’s my point of view about emotional intelligence for highly sensitive people and empaths: You need to clean your inner Substance. This will change your life in a sustainable way and allow you to adopt healthier behaviors. You can stay highly sensitive and emotional, in fact, it is an important part of who you are as an individual. Once you have cleansed your inner SUBSTANCE, this will bring you to the root cause of the problem. It will help you feel better and stay highly sensitive, but in a happy, healthy, and productive way. To cleanse your inner SUBSTANCE, and find freedom from anger, resentment, and frustration, please feel free to check out my SUBSTANCE Cleansingfor Method.
Julia Noyel is inner SUBSTANCE Coach & intuitive healer, certified Coach & Psychological Counselor and author of several self-help books including black sheep live better: how to change and realize your dream life and The SUBSTANCE-FORMULA: Master the art of raising happy, healthy & successful children, The SUBSTANCE-FORMULA: Master the art of a happy, healthy & successful life. Expert in self-confidence & education, HSP, Highly sensitivity, empaths, Infps, creatives, communication, emotional management, people management & leadership, and authenticity, her approach is body-mind-spirit focussed. Trained in various techniques of nonviolent communication (NVC, PET, EI etc.), NLP, management, creativity tools and energy healing (EFT, Jin shin Jyutsu, Reiki, magnetism), she has developed her own approaches: SUBSTANCE-Formula & SUBSTANCE CLEANSINGfor. two powerful programs that transformed her life and those of her clients after having studied, researched and experimented with the most effective, inspiring, and latest techniques in the field of mind & cell reprogramming, subconscious mind functioning, cell memories, energy healing, and divine & intuitive healing. Her goal is to enable everyone to be self-confident, happy, healthy & successful in life permanently.