Would you like to know How to stop yelling? Are you also desperate and do not know how to control your outbursts? Have you tried everything, but you have no success? Your anger is like a sudden storm coming over you? Good that you are here. Relationships are wonderful, unless there is a conflict. In every situation, the needs of two people should be heard and listened to, and a solution should be found for both parties to be happy. Creating a win-win situation should be our goal. But with some people this is not possible. Some people can or may only want to go their own way, are so busy with their own needs, having never learned to respond to other people’s needs or to listen to negative emotions.
When you are faced to people who cannot hear your emotions and needs keep your emotions bottled
We are often told to express our feelings and needs. This is basically a good and healthy idea with people who are able to listen to our feelings and needs. But sometimes we make an effort to express our own needs and feelings and are not heard despite our efforts and repeated tries to make others listen to us. At some point we will explode. Maybe you feel the same way. You express your opinion and needs, and the other person just ignores you, tells you how and what you should feel or even humilates you? You get upset. And then the other person tells you that you are not ok, too aggressive, too impulsive, etc. If we have never been properly heard since childhood and have never had the right to express our point of view and frustration as a child, it is very painful for us, if still as an adult we need to endure the same situations. Are you sometimes really angry and trying to get other people to finally listen to you? In a quarrel, you lose control quickly and start screaming to be heard? Or maybe you even start throwing things through the room, hitting the wall?
How to stop yelling and control your anger depends on your thoughts
As you may have already noticed, your fellow human beings will not listen to you more when you scream. Mostly your frustration and suffering are not perceived and you are labeled as hysterical, mentally disturbed, choleric, violent or not normal. The safe way is to stay calm and leave the situation or the person who does not consider your needs and your feelings, and to focus your attention on people who listen to your needs.
If you have trouble controlling your anger, you are screaming and quickly losing control of the dispute, check out my free video “Anger and Rage Management – I’m angry and stay calm.This video helps and teaches you how to stop yelling and ultimately control your anger outbursts.
Have you ever wondered how to get it right when it comes to raising your child if listening to your intuition is all you need when it comes to raising your children or what it needs to raise happy, healthy & successful children? Well, you are not alone! One day I had a conversation with a psychotherapist who was in her forties. She was sitting next to me with her colorful dress, and we spoke about parenting. I love colorful dresses, too. I was in a great mood. She said: “I believe parents or future parents who feel a bit anxious, should not read any books about parenting or education.”
What? She just had finished her sentence, I gulped, took a deep breath trying to hide my trembling body. My heart dropped. I just had decided to write a book about mastering the art of raising happy, healthy & successful children. I immediately saw the picture of my book in the bookshop nobody wanted to buy, but not only that. I saw closing bookshops in front of my eyes, training rooms being empty. Was advice on parenting useless? That was just not possible. I had to think about people like Thomas Gordon, Dorothy Ellen. Their books helped millions of parents. Their contribution made the world so much richer and helped so many people to become a better parent, me too by the way. I had considered myself anxious about parenting for a long time. Not knowing which behavior was harmful and which one not would not have made me feel better. The contrary was the case. Not knowing would have increased my anxiety. Coming from the corporate world I knew that many companies paid much attention to preventing risks, so I was wondering why parents did not? Strange as there was a reason for it: We talk about risk prevention at the workplace to make people feel safe. So when it comes to parenting, I should swim in the ocean after the shipwreck in whatever direction just hoping to land safely? I felt confused. What was about my book project? Made it no sense and couldn’t we prepare for being a parent? Was there no technique, no strategy? I tried to calm down. Maybe I had not understood her correctly.
So I asked her one more time:
“What do you mean?”
“I think parents should follow their intuition when raising their children.”
“Well.” She got me twice. It was apparently MY DAY. I have been training people for more than five years in “How to develop their intuition in the private as well in the professional context,” holding workshops several times per year on the topic. Moreover, as an empath, I had a somewhat strongly developed intuition. I would even say: Intuition was a well-known friend. My brain was working hard like a turbo hamster on his wheel, trying to see the link she wanted to make.
“So if I understand you correctly, you believe we should naturally do what feels right to us when it comes to parenting”?
Her reply left a huge question mark in my head. I ruminated for some days about our conversation. Was listening to our intuition enough when it comes to raising children? This conversation left me full of doubts for the next days, so during the weekend, I decided to call a friend who had two children. I told her about my book project, and she said: “I believe when it comes to raising children, there is no right or wrong way. Each child is different. You need to do it as you feel it. And by the way, how can you think about giving advice about parenting, you even have no own children.” Wow, that was hard to take. I felt beaten, even more down when I hung up the phone. Apparently, I was going through a hard time, as during the afternoon when I wanted to take my car a red warning light came on. I desperately called a friend of mine who came to have a look at my car. I said: “Andy, please do not tell me that I should have used my intuition for avoiding my car to break.” He looked at me a bit confused and said: “Of course not, but you should have put motor oil in the engine. You know, Julia, it is the same for all cars. Every car needs oil, water, and maintenance to function well.” I looked at him, gave him a kiss, and I said: ”Thank you, Andy, thank you so much for your help.” He looked at me, confused: “But I did nothing.” “Oh yes, yes, you helped me so much.”
When it comes to our parenting and eduction style, specially communication what naturally seems to be right is not always in the best interest of our child.
What I learned from Andy: You might drive a sports car, a family car, a red one or a blue one. Every car needs the same to function well. I need to know what a car requires to function well. I cannot just rely on my intuition. If I do not take care of it, it will break. I might prefer orange juice to oil, both are liquid, but if I use orange juice for my car’s engine, well I don’t know what will happen. When I use oil for the engine, I do not transform my driving style, but I help my car to function well because it is proven that engine oil is the appropriate liquid for my car. I might not have the same car as my neighbor has; however, I will use engine oil as my neighbor does. It is precisely the same for your children. What seems natural to you will not always bring happiness, health & success to your children’s life. Some methods are proven to be appropriate if you want to help your child to set a foundation for a happy, healthy & successful life.
Listening to and following our intuition in life is important also when it comes to our children. We need to listen to our gut feelings to feel the baby’s needs, to protect our child from danger, to detect lies and problems. However, when it comes to our parenting and education style, especially communication, what naturally seems to be right is not always in the best interest of our child. What we consider natural is not always the best. Would you ever take the airplane with a pilot who has never really learned to fly and who is only following his gut feeling for using the bottoms in the cockpit? Let’s imagine that he learned to fly solely by observing his father, who was a pilot, too. Ok, you might think, why not. But now I tell you: the father actually crashed one day. Would you still take the airplane with the pilot? I would not.
You are parents? You want to raise happy, healthy and successful children?
If you have ever wondered how to make sure your children will be happy, healthy and successfully master their lives, it is time to dig a little bit deeper into this question. After having read the following lines you will discover one critical mistake many people do when it comes to parenting. Your and your child’s life is meant to be happy, healthy & successful. Being a parent is an amazing and rewarding experience and you can teach your child all the skills to master their life happily and successfully.
Do you sometimes ask yourself how to attract money and success simply? Well, I remember the time when I was chasing after things, after customers, money, after success. I worked hard, was tired, had no money, and I spend all my time on my work. One evening after 12 hours in front of my screen, I was thinking “well, when will you finally succeed in what you are doing?” It was a difficult time. But suddenly I also remembered a time when everything was easy; life was so beautiful.
I worked a lot, but it was not hard. Everything was easy. I felt so good. Customers called me. Success and money came to me quickly. I had plenty of work and a 6 figure salary, just within one year after having started my own activity. So what could have happened? Why, after this easy-going time, I experienced life suddenly so differently? Continuer la lecture de How to attract success and money and realize your dream life→
Do you know the following situation? You are unhappy, in the morning you have troubles to get out of your bed, you have a stomach or back pain when you think about work, you work day is monotonous, your weekends consists of cleaning and going to the grocery store? You would like to change your life, you have no concrete plan, but you are quite clear about which kind of life you would make you happier, you would like to change, but sometimes you have some minor doubts about your intention as your ideal life seems so different to other people’s lives. So in moments of doubts, you call your family – maybe your mom, your father, your sister or your brother or your friends – and your ask them for advice, and you follow their advice instead of realizing your dreams.
If you’re like most people, and I was like this too, by the way, chances are high that other people easily influence you. The majority of people who want to change their life never really succeed in their project because they get influenced by other people, they lack a strong inner self. Especially when you were raised by controlling and dominant parents, your brain is programmed to rather listen to others than to yourself. People lacking a strong inner self get easily overwhelmed by other peoples’ thoughts, energy, and emotions. Continuer la lecture de If you want to change your life don’t do this→
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