I’m Julia, expert in self-confidence and the art of a different, happy, healthy & successful life. I specialized in Self-confidence and a happy, healthy & successful life for all people feeling different and NOT ok, especially Infps, HSPs, empaths, creatives, being all those myself. Certified coach and psychological advisor I decided to work without hypnosis, as I know some people are afraid and do not feel confortable. I could free myself from my own self-doubts in a relaxed state by using subliminal messages and affirmations without using hynosis with good results for myself and do this today with my clients.
How to survive as a highly sensitive person in a world that does not always understand how and to which degree we can feel the emotions and suffer from our sensitivity? In this article, you will learn 8 strategies to deal with people who reject your high sensitivity. If you are a highly sensitive person, you might often feel rejected by people around you who tell you that you are too sensitive. As a highly sensitive person, I know how you feel. Being rejected for who we are can be a violent feeling, especially being rejected for our high sensitivity. People tell us to be less emotional because they cannot handle our strong emotions and often leave us with a feeling of being a bad person, inferior or just not good, not ok. And we try to change, to adapt. I tried for a long time to change until the day, I learned to accept my high sensitivity. From this moment, I met more people who accept my high sensitivity, too. So how did I do this? Well instead of doubting about myself, trying to change or to adapt to other people, I learned to better deal with people who rejected my high sensitivity.
Here you find 8 strategies to deal with people who reject your high sensitivity:
1. Chose with whom you are talking about your feelings and not
From my experience, if you are a highly sensitive person, it is important to chose with whom you are going to talk about your deep emotions. People are different and not all people are able to hear, get or understand your strong emotions. Especially rationals have really difficulties to listen to your emotions. People who reject your high sensitivity do not know what it means to feel. It is scary for them. Therefore chose wisely with whom you are going to talk about: “I feel.”
2. Forgive others
Often this is not bad faith of people if they say “you need to be less sensitive”, even the contrary, people want to protect you, because they do not want you to suffer, because they know that the world can be cruel. And they think (because this is what they have learned) that feeling is dangerous. Also, they do not think like you, they do not think about the meaning of the words they use.
Sometimes it might happen that we have a conflict with others, people might reject us, because we behaved badly. This is ok. Everybody can make an error. Make the difference between your high sensitivity and bad behavior. If you behaved badly (called names, criticized someone, screamed badly etc.) excuse. If you have a rage or anger issue, learn to better handle your anger. You can shift your old conditioning and calm your mind here with this powerful tool.
5. Walk away from toxic, emotionally unavailable people
When we are highly sensitive, we often attract toxic, emotionally unavailable and manipulative people. They are our shadow side. You might have difficulties to handle situations with some people as they are toxic. Toxic people will rarely change their behavior and show empathy. Wondering how to deal with people who reject your high sensitivity? If they are toxic there might be just one solution: Do not waste your time, walk away like a wise elephant or limit time with those people!
6. Surround yourself by people who are empathic
When we reject our own high sensitivity we are drawn to people who reject us and who tell us over and over again: you are too sensitive. You need to learn to surround ourselves with people who are empathic and who listen to you when you talk about your feelings. There are plenty out there. Focus your attention on empathic people.
7. Learn tools to protect you and to handle your high sensitivity
Have you ever wondered how to get it right when it comes to raising your child if listening to your intuition is all you need when it comes to raising your children or what it needs to raise happy, healthy & successful children? Well, you are not alone! One day I had a conversation with a psychotherapist who was in her forties. She was sitting next to me with her colorful dress, and we spoke about parenting. I love colorful dresses, too. I was in a great mood. She said: “I believe parents or future parents who feel a bit anxious, should not read any books about parenting or education.”
What? She just had finished her sentence, I gulped, took a deep breath trying to hide my trembling body. My heart dropped. I just had decided to write a book about mastering the art of raising happy, healthy & successful children. I immediately saw the picture of my book in the bookshop nobody wanted to buy, but not only that. I saw closing bookshops in front of my eyes, training rooms being empty. Was advice on parenting useless? That was just not possible. I had to think about people like Thomas Gordon, Dorothy Ellen. Their books helped millions of parents. Their contribution made the world so much richer and helped so many people to become a better parent, me too by the way. I had considered myself anxious about parenting for a long time. Not knowing which behavior was harmful and which one not would not have made me feel better. The contrary was the case. Not knowing would have increased my anxiety. Coming from the corporate world I knew that many companies paid much attention to preventing risks, so I was wondering why parents did not? Strange as there was a reason for it: We talk about risk prevention at the workplace to make people feel safe. So when it comes to parenting, I should swim in the ocean after the shipwreck in whatever direction just hoping to land safely? I felt confused. What was about my book project? Made it no sense and couldn’t we prepare for being a parent? Was there no technique, no strategy? I tried to calm down. Maybe I had not understood her correctly.
So I asked her one more time:
“What do you mean?”
“I think parents should follow their intuition when raising their children.”
“Well.” She got me twice. It was apparently MY DAY. I have been training people for more than five years in “How to develop their intuition in the private as well in the professional context,” holding workshops several times per year on the topic. Moreover, as an empath, I had a somewhat strongly developed intuition. I would even say: Intuition was a well-known friend. My brain was working hard like a turbo hamster on his wheel, trying to see the link she wanted to make.
“So if I understand you correctly, you believe we should naturally do what feels right to us when it comes to parenting”?
Her reply left a huge question mark in my head. I ruminated for some days about our conversation. Was listening to our intuition enough when it comes to raising children? This conversation left me full of doubts for the next days, so during the weekend, I decided to call a friend who had two children. I told her about my book project, and she said: “I believe when it comes to raising children, there is no right or wrong way. Each child is different. You need to do it as you feel it. And by the way, how can you think about giving advice about parenting, you even have no own children.” Wow, that was hard to take. I felt beaten, even more down when I hung up the phone. Apparently, I was going through a hard time, as during the afternoon when I wanted to take my car a red warning light came on. I desperately called a friend of mine who came to have a look at my car. I said: “Andy, please do not tell me that I should have used my intuition for avoiding my car to break.” He looked at me a bit confused and said: “Of course not, but you should have put motor oil in the engine. You know, Julia, it is the same for all cars. Every car needs oil, water, and maintenance to function well.” I looked at him, gave him a kiss, and I said: ”Thank you, Andy, thank you so much for your help.” He looked at me, confused: “But I did nothing.” “Oh yes, yes, you helped me so much.”
When it comes to our parenting and eduction style, specially communication what naturally seems to be right is not always in the best interest of our child.
What I learned from Andy: You might drive a sports car, a family car, a red one or a blue one. Every car needs the same to function well. I need to know what a car requires to function well. I cannot just rely on my intuition. If I do not take care of it, it will break. I might prefer orange juice to oil, both are liquid, but if I use orange juice for my car’s engine, well I don’t know what will happen. When I use oil for the engine, I do not transform my driving style, but I help my car to function well because it is proven that engine oil is the appropriate liquid for my car. I might not have the same car as my neighbor has; however, I will use engine oil as my neighbor does. It is precisely the same for your children. What seems natural to you will not always bring happiness, health & success to your children’s life. Some methods are proven to be appropriate if you want to help your child to set a foundation for a happy, healthy & successful life.
Listening to and following our intuition in life is important also when it comes to our children. We need to listen to our gut feelings to feel the baby’s needs, to protect our child from danger, to detect lies and problems. However, when it comes to our parenting and education style, especially communication, what naturally seems to be right is not always in the best interest of our child. What we consider natural is not always the best. Would you ever take the airplane with a pilot who has never really learned to fly and who is only following his gut feeling for using the bottoms in the cockpit? Let’s imagine that he learned to fly solely by observing his father, who was a pilot, too. Ok, you might think, why not. But now I tell you: the father actually crashed one day. Would you still take the airplane with the pilot? I would not.
You are parents? You want to raise happy, healthy and successful children?
If you have ever wondered how to make sure your children will be happy, healthy and successfully master their lives, it is time to dig a little bit deeper into this question. After having read the following lines you will discover one critical mistake many people do when it comes to parenting. Your and your child’s life is meant to be happy, healthy & successful. Being a parent is an amazing and rewarding experience and you can teach your child all the skills to master their life happily and successfully.
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